In no particular order, here are the top 10 Best Facebook Status Updates
- Insert coin to view status message.
- …decided to burn lots of calories today, so I set a fat kid on fire!
- …is the girl next door…if you live next door to a whore house.
- …is cle’a[ni.ng hi's ke]yb36oa;rd
- …is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
- …asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your Facebook. No way you were getting out of a DUI.
- …drank so much Goldschlagger last night, I could sh*t a necklace.
- If at first you don’t succeed, try drinking beer while you do it. You’ll be amazed at how much less you care.
- …believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
- …went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
Yes, yes, face it. You are addicted to Facebook, like it is a drug. Like all drugs, there needs to be dealers. That is where you come in. Go ahead and copy one of the status updates above, and paste it right onto your wall.